I also remember how stress made it even harder to manage the pain. The worst part was knowing you wanted to perform but couldn’t, especially when losing a match you could have won.
I did everything I could to hide my disability for fear I would appear non-competitive. However, when I finally ‘came out’ about being blind, it opened up so many doors I didn’t expect.
Recognising my body as a sacred vessel that carries me through these journeys motivates me to work with my body instead of against it. This practice has helped me appreciate, feed, love, and support my body in the way it asks me to.
My mum taught me to always stay vigilant in understanding when the majority or the ‘trusted voices’ were falling short. She told me to be brave enough to speak power to those who couldn’t always speak so boldly for themselves or were not given the platforms to do so.
No matter what you’ve been through or are currently facing, remember that you can release its hold on you. Finding self-love is a beautiful journey. By forgiving yourself and others, you’ll feel lighter.
For my first six years in the sport, we had to wear white trousers to compete. It didn’t matter what stage of my cycle I was in, the moment I put on those clothes I would start thinking “What if it happens today?”
I was faced with a choice: succumb or survive. It eventually turned me into a fighter because I wanted to survive. I did. I fought hard for that survival for a very long time, and unfortunately or fortunately, it shaped me into who I am today.
I felt like I couldn’t openly explain the reason for my struggles, not only because of cultural barriers but also because discussing menstruation with male coaches and teammates was not very comfortable as a 17-year-old young girl.
